The Ultimate Battle

Scene 1:   

Dark smoke fills the scene and pump up music slowly gets louder.  The audience sees a lobbyist and his girlfriend eating at a super expensive restaurant.  The girlfriend is so hot that steam is coming out of her mouth or hair.  Some old idiot is sitting by the couple.  The idiot is giving the girlfriend "the eye" and popping like 16 boners.  But the lobbyist sees the boners and the music really pumps up.  The audience knows this guy is dead meat for sure.  But out of nowhere, the old idiot pulls off his jacket to show that he is a pirate with lasers and everything.  The lobbyist is like yeah right who cares and then pops the biggest boner ever, bigger than the biggest blackest boner alive.  The lobbyist's boner smashes the entire restaurant.  Every single one of the pirate's boners explodes while making a whistling sound.  The lobbyist looks back at his girlfriend.  She smiles and they pork. 

END

-While writing this script, I head-butt my dog so hard that we both screamed.