The Lobbyist Dance

SCENE 1:

The scene opens up with some soft annoying music to get the audience super pissed.  The camera will show a bunch of pirates eating chicken buttholes.  Fortunately, a lobbyist sees everything and realizes what a bunch of bull crap it is.  So this one lobbyist walks up to them and is like "Yo what's your problem?"  The camera zooms directly on a pirate's mouth, which states "Get out of here now." and buttholes fall all over the silverware.  Then the camera cuts to the lobbyist's mouth with says "No," but nothing gross happens.  The audience then sees lobbyist pull out a huge guitar which is really medium sized and wails.  But the pirates don't explode, they start to dance.........hard, harder than the hardest blackest boner alive.   And when they dance, the pirates look like a bunch of crabby and stupid moms.  Everybody in the entire world craps their pants laughing at the pure stupidity of the pirates.  But the lobbyist has A.D.D. and starts losing energy/power and the pirates start stopping dancing.  (There will be some suspense filled violins and guitars playing so that the audience gets scared and/or pumped-scared.)  In several motions, the pirates come toward the lobbyist.  BUT, out of nowhere this bad ass lake appears and a huge hippo busts out of it hard.  Water sprays everywhere, including the pirates' shirts (which causes their boobs to barely appear through their shirts).  Most pirates are like "This can't be happening!"  The hippo says "Guess what, it is." and slaps five with lobbyist pretty hard.  And the lobbyist says "let's rock brother."  They both pull out expensive guitars and start wailing on them really really hard.  Since the lobbyist can't concentrate, the hippo thoughtfully guides his hand, because they are blood brothers till the end of time and space.  Then the pirates all morph into this tiny diaper and the hippo and lobbyist morph into a super poop-filled baby that takes the biggest frigg'n dump in the pirate/diaper.  The pirates' scream turns into a crap-gargle (this will make audience laugh gregariously).  The lobbyist's A.D.D. heals and the two buddies/brothers smoke cigarettes and get ice-cream and pop, which they enjoy a lot.

The End

-I don't know how anybody can tolerate pirates after reading this stuff.